Settling into Reality

Yesterday was my first full day living with the knowledge of being pregnant. As I said, I really have no idea what to expect. Most of my life I felt like I didn't want to have children. Once I even wrote an essay about all of the reasons why I didn't want to join the motherhood club. Even though I changed my mind about it over a year ago, some of those things still scare the hell out of me.

My husband and I have decided to mostly keep quiet about our news until we get through the first trimester. We did tell our parents and I told my office mate at work, people we would want support from if the pregnancy doesn't work out.

I've decided to start out with a Certified Nurse Midwife and move to an OB/GYN if there are problems or if I change my mind about the midwife experience. I'm going to go with one of the midwives that have hospital privileges because I think I'd have greater peace of mind delivering at a hospital than I would at home or a birth center. 

On Monday I'll call to schedule my first prenatal appointment. From what I've read, most practitioners won't see you until week 6 or 8, so I've got at least a couple of weeks to go before the appointment.

I'm not really experiencing much in the way of symptoms right now. I've felt more tired than usual (mostly in the afternoons and early evening), and I think I've had more gas (but my husband is trying to say that it's normal for me). That's it so far. Maybe that's all a poppyseed will do. The newsletters from BabyCenter tell you the size of your baby in terms of different foods. Right now, he or she is a poppyseed. Stay tuned for sesame seed.