Friday, May 29, 2009

How Do You Keep Yourself?

This is a question I've thought about, somewhere between, "How am I supposed to get a whole baby out of me?" "How will I know how to take care of my baby?" "How are we going to afford this?" and "If my child is a girl, will she really hate me when she's a teenager?"

Huge changes are coming, and almost all of them are very exciting. I'm so happy that I'm on this journey and I want this so much. However, sometimes my mind wanders back to the essay I wrote six years ago when I was "absolutely certain" that I didn't want to have children and I wonder how I will still manage to have time for myself and pursue my own dreams and interests. I know I'll be super excited about and super proud of my little munchkin, but I don't want to be the woman who only talks about her child and his or her accomplishments. I want to remain interesting. 

If you're a mom, how do you it? How do you be everything - a mom, a wife, and yourself? 

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Week 6 - Hormones

Last night I cried during One Tree Hill. Yes, I watch this show and yes, it's horrible. This didn't happen during a type of scene that would have normally made the tears flow, like someone dying or a super sappy "finally expressing their love" moment, but when a character finally reached his career goal after years of trying to get there. Apparently, it's not that easy to get into the NBA, even in the land of really bad make-believe. As a rule, One Tree Hill is known for making me laugh during "emotional" moments, so I was pretty surprised by the waterworks.

Ahh, hormones. 

Friday, May 22, 2009

Week 5

Wednesday marked the official start of my 5th week. Nothing too "exciting" in terms of symptoms yet.


Occasional sore breasts...check.

Cheek/neck flushing...check.


I haven't had any nausea yet. Maybe I won't get any. I've been taking a B-Complex vitamin for the past few months, and my acupuncturist told me that between that dose of B6 and my prenatal dose of B6 that I'm nearly getting what's prescribed to women who experience nausea during their pregnancy. Not puking would rule.

I have told a very select few our news and it was fun to be able to share it. These are the same people I would want to talk to if the pregnancy doesn't work out, so I'm totally okay with having to tell them bad news if necessary. But it won't be. :)

It's amazing what you have to start thinking about already. Like child care. I can't just leave bowls of food and water on the floor and head off to work. Apparently there is an infant child care shortage in Seattle and I need to get on waiting lists, like yesterday. Seriously. For center-based day care, women call in as soon as they are pregnant. Some even lie and call in earlier. For home-based day care or nanny shares (which I'll probably end up doing because of the cost), you arrange it 2 or 3 months beforehand.

But today, I'll just enjoy the beginning of a 3 day weekend and the gorgeous Seattle sunshine.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

First Prenatal Visit Scheduled

Yesterday I scheduled my first prenatal visit. Yes, another BabyCenter link. No, I don't work for them. It's really just that informative. 

I'm going to see the midwife on June 9th, right before the day of the beginning of my 8th week. It seems like the visit will mostly be a bunch of tests. My husband is going to go with me and he's already preparing questions to ask the midwife. I need to get to work on that!

I'm still not having any real symptoms except for fatigue. I had one hot flash at work yesterday. That was weird. I've never had anything like that before. I went to the bathroom and my neck and face were red, then I went back into my office to see if it is a pregnancy symptom. It is. 

Last night I actually felt like I had some extra energy before dinner, then I crashed during How I Met Your Mother. I guess my sweet little parasite has already decided to disrupt my TV viewing schedule. :)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Settling into Reality

Yesterday was my first full day living with the knowledge of being pregnant. As I said, I really have no idea what to expect. Most of my life I felt like I didn't want to have children. Once I even wrote an essay about all of the reasons why I didn't want to join the motherhood club. Even though I changed my mind about it over a year ago, some of those things still scare the hell out of me.

My husband and I have decided to mostly keep quiet about our news until we get through the first trimester. We did tell our parents and I told my office mate at work, people we would want support from if the pregnancy doesn't work out.

I've decided to start out with a Certified Nurse Midwife and move to an OB/GYN if there are problems or if I change my mind about the midwife experience. I'm going to go with one of the midwives that have hospital privileges because I think I'd have greater peace of mind delivering at a hospital than I would at home or a birth center. 

On Monday I'll call to schedule my first prenatal appointment. From what I've read, most practitioners won't see you until week 6 or 8, so I've got at least a couple of weeks to go before the appointment.

I'm not really experiencing much in the way of symptoms right now. I've felt more tired than usual (mostly in the afternoons and early evening), and I think I've had more gas (but my husband is trying to say that it's normal for me). That's it so far. Maybe that's all a poppyseed will do. The newsletters from BabyCenter tell you the size of your baby in terms of different foods. Right now, he or she is a poppyseed. Stay tuned for sesame seed.

Friday, May 15, 2009

My Pregnancy Test Is Positive? Seriously?


I was scheduled to start my period on Wednesday, May 13th. I haven't even been back from my Italian honeymoon for a week, and while I knew that it was (barely) possible for me to be pregnant, I thought absolutely no way. I'm 39 years old. It's going to take at least 6 months. Guess again, people...sometimes it only takes a few weeks, even for us "old" mothers-to-be.

Yesterday I decided to take a pregnancy test. I had a couple left over from last year when my optometrist totally freaked me out and wondered if my vision improved because I was pregnant. I hadn't even missed a period, but I rushed to Rite Aid to buy a pregnancy test (that was actually a kit of 3 tests). I really didn't expect the test to be positive. I really thought it would be much harder for me to get pregnant given my age. But I peed on the little stick, walked out of the bathroom for 2 to 3 minutes, and came back to a digital readout that said "Pregnant." My husband's eyes were filled with tears (of joy). About 45 minutes and 4 glasses of water later, I took the second test. A less fancy, light blue plus sign (there was only one digital test in the pack).


This morning I've been perusing The Bump and BabyCenter. Who knew that your due date is calculated from the first day of your last period? According to this logic, I'm in the 4th week of my pregnancy, even though I'm pretty sure I got pregnant on my honeymoon in Sorrento or Florence on April 29, 30, or May 1 which makes me only about 2 weeks pregnant.

I know nothing about pregnancy, childbirth, or being a mother. This is going to be a fun ride.