FREE: Adorable, Well-Mannered Baby Boy, Wardrobe Included

Okay, so I'm not really going to give you my baby, but there have been times during the past few weeks when I may have given the proposal fleeting mild consideration.

Lack of sleep. It seems like that's all people really talk about when they find out you're having a baby. "You'd better sleep now," they chant when you're pregnant. What they don't tell you is that you'd better make a list of all the things you like to do, notes about your personality, and reminders of your hopes and dreams because you actually forget who you are during the first few weeks of living with and caring for a newborn.

This is what I'm learning about motherhood so far...and it's only been four weeks. In no particular order:

• Full-time, stay-at-home moms have one of the hardest jobs on the planet. My husband works at home and can lend a hand during the day when necessary (e.g., I can take a shower uninterrupted every day) and taking care of a newborn all day (and the household chores that go along with it) can still be overwhelming.

• Feeling like you'd do anything to get away from your baby one minute, then 10 minutes later be absolutely dying to hold him is "normal." And this pattern can repeat itself several times in one day...or one hour.

• It is possible, although not preferable, to (somewhat) function on four hours of sleep.

• Sometimes you can feel so much love for your baby that staring into his sweet face will make you cry.

• Sometimes you miss your pre-baby life. This doesn't mean that you're a bad mother or that you don't love or want your baby.

• Sometimes you can miss your baby so much that you seriously consider leaving a movie (that you're enjoying and have been waiting to see forever) and rushing home halfway through it.

• Sometimes you look forward to your maternity leave being over and going back to work. This doesn't mean that you're a bad mother or that you don't love or want your baby.

• Other times you never want your maternity leave to end, you wish you didn't have to work, and it makes you sick and upset that someone else has to take care of your baby. 

• Other times you just want to run away from it all and live in Paris.

• Fussiness at 2:00 AM can transform the cutest baby in the world into uncute.

• Changing a baby in a public restroom is difficult. So is washing your hands while holding a newborn.

• Being alone with your baby can bring on some of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

• When you have a newborn, you can miss your husband even if he's sitting in the same room as you are.

• When you have a newborn, you can miss your TV even if it's sitting in the same room as you are.

• If you want to leave home with your baby, you have to carry a lot of shit with you.

• Strollers and car seats can be tricky to operate and may cause you to say things in front of your baby that he shouldn't hear.

• If your husband/partner/friend/family member offers to take care of your baby and give you a couple of hours to yourself to go to a coffee shop and write, take them up on it. Free time and sanity can be hard to come by.

Okay. That's what I've learned so far...that I can remember, anyway. More from the trenches later.

P.S. My laptop battery is low and I'm missing my adorable son. He and his father should be strolling over here any time now and I can't wait to see the little munchkin. And his handsome father. :) Sigh.