"Two" Many Blogs

I want to write more in 2011 and it seems like I'm having trouble keeping up with one blog, let alone two. So, my big plan is to combine my posts about motherhood and life into the same blog. As motherhood is a HUGE HUGE HUGE part of my life now, it makes total sense.

Since I've had Inward Facing Girl for some time now, and the title and content are about more than motherhood, that's the blog I'll be using.

There's still some good stuff in this blog (and I don't want to lose the chronicling of my pregnancies), so I'm leaving it live for people to read the archives. Who knows? I may decide to use it again someday. But for now, on to Inward Facing Girl...I hope you'll join me there! :)

Happy 2011!

311/365: What Made Me Cry Today

311/365: What Made Me Cry Today, originally uploaded by Drew & Melanie.

Reposted from Inward Facing Girl

Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Little Books

Reposted from Inward Facing Girl

I LOVE these books!

I first heard about Amy Krouse Rosenthal when my dear friend Courtney sent me a copy of Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, which I immediately fell in love with. I did some research on the author and learned that she also writes children's books and does cool projects like The Beckoning of Lovely.

Anyway, back to now. A few weeks ago, I popped into Essenza (with my dear friend Barbara), and took a look at their (mostly overpriced) alcove of stuff for kids. I found these adorable little board books that I started flipping through, then noticed that they were written by AKR. Cool! I ended up buying Little Oink, the story of a pig who hates making a mess, but decided to wait on Little Pea (a pea who hates to eat candy but has to do it if he wants his vegetable dessert) and Little Hoot (the owl who hates to stay up late). A couple of weeks later, I decided to buy the rest of the books on Amazon. Shame on you, Essenza. Nice trick you pulled of breaking up the set of board books so you could charge your customers more for them. They're only sold in a set! And you overcharge for Sophie the Giraffe too. Bitches. 

The Little Books are adorable. The stories are cute and fun, and I love the illustrations. Another great children's book by AKR is Spoon. It's about an adorable little spoon who learns to appreciate his own gifts rather than envying the specialness of his friends knife, fork, and chopsticks.

I enjoyed kids' books before I had my own little munchkin to read them to, but now it's even more fun to discover these gems.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

This week I went back to work and Nathaniel started day care. The first day was so incredibly hard. I really REALLY didn't want to leave him there.  It's a good program and I'm not worried about his safety, but I just didn't want to leave him. There were many tears (mine...he was totally fine and smiley, thank God). The second, third, and fourth days were easier, but I miss the little guy during the day.

At the same time, I'm really glad to be working again. No, I wouldn't choose a full-time job if I didn't absolutely have to have one, but I also know that I couldn't be a full-time "stay-at-home" mom either. I know myself well (after all, I spent 40 years being responsible for only me and building my own life), and I wouldn't be happy if I didn't have a good bit of time during the week when I wasn't involved with childcare.

Now is the time to see how everything fits together. After eight weeks of maternity leave, it's time to see what real life looks like. Drew and I are trying to perfect our morning routine this week. Once the work thing gets figured out, what about everything else? Time to spend with Nathaniel, time to spend with Drew, time to spend with friends, time to spend with me...how does it all work? The answer to that question eludes me. And then there's all the laundry...

How do you moms do it? How do you organize your time and lives?

The Moby Wrap, AKA The Piece of Fabric That Made Me Want To Jump Off a Bridge

Who would have thought that one piece of fabric could make you feel like an insane person? That a chocolate brown sliver of 100% organic cotton could actually reduce a 40 year-old woman to spewing words that her newborn son shouldn't hear from his mother's mouth, uncontrollable sobbing, and lead to a hundred thoughts of why she's not suited for motherhood?

Ahh, the Moby Wrap. Torturers everywhere should have one of these in their bag of tricks. Making their prisoner wrap it and attempt to put a squirming baby in it over and over again will surely make them fess up to who they're working for. It's at least as effective as a litany of sharp objects.

Here are the instructions. All kinds of great ways to "wear" your baby. Cool, right? And it looks simple, right? Easy to follow. You shouldn't need an advanced degree to figure it out. Note: I have one...and it's worthless when it comes to the Cocoa Jersey Nightmare. There are even video instructions all over the web to make it easier. Although none of the ones that I watched address how to make the %#*$ing kangaroo pouch part tighter!

Anyway, after many tries, many tears, much envy (after seeing a woman in Top Pot with her perfectly Moby Wrapped bundle of joy), and tons of help from my adorable husband, I think I've finally sort of mastered it. This morning was a huge accomplishment. I was able to wrap it and wrangle Nathaniel into it while Drew was still sleeping. Downstairs. In another room. And I did it on the first try! Nathaniel was cuddly and happy and fell asleep quickly against my chest. It felt SUPER AWESOME to have him that close and be able to kiss the top of his sweet smelling baby head whenever I wanted. Plus, I could write this blog entry easily. Double bonus.

Bottom line: Even though it might make you turn into a freaking lunatic, learning to conquer the beast will be worth it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having him in this thing!

BabyCenter Blog Post: What would you tell your pre-mom self?

Ran across a tweet linking to this post during a feeding last night. Good advice.

FREE: Adorable, Well-Mannered Baby Boy, Wardrobe Included

Okay, so I'm not really going to give you my baby, but there have been times during the past few weeks when I may have given the proposal fleeting mild consideration.

Lack of sleep. It seems like that's all people really talk about when they find out you're having a baby. "You'd better sleep now," they chant when you're pregnant. What they don't tell you is that you'd better make a list of all the things you like to do, notes about your personality, and reminders of your hopes and dreams because you actually forget who you are during the first few weeks of living with and caring for a newborn.

This is what I'm learning about motherhood so far...and it's only been four weeks. In no particular order:

• Full-time, stay-at-home moms have one of the hardest jobs on the planet. My husband works at home and can lend a hand during the day when necessary (e.g., I can take a shower uninterrupted every day) and taking care of a newborn all day (and the household chores that go along with it) can still be overwhelming.

• Feeling like you'd do anything to get away from your baby one minute, then 10 minutes later be absolutely dying to hold him is "normal." And this pattern can repeat itself several times in one day...or one hour.

• It is possible, although not preferable, to (somewhat) function on four hours of sleep.

• Sometimes you can feel so much love for your baby that staring into his sweet face will make you cry.

• Sometimes you miss your pre-baby life. This doesn't mean that you're a bad mother or that you don't love or want your baby.

• Sometimes you can miss your baby so much that you seriously consider leaving a movie (that you're enjoying and have been waiting to see forever) and rushing home halfway through it.

• Sometimes you look forward to your maternity leave being over and going back to work. This doesn't mean that you're a bad mother or that you don't love or want your baby.

• Other times you never want your maternity leave to end, you wish you didn't have to work, and it makes you sick and upset that someone else has to take care of your baby. 

• Other times you just want to run away from it all and live in Paris.

• Fussiness at 2:00 AM can transform the cutest baby in the world into uncute.

• Changing a baby in a public restroom is difficult. So is washing your hands while holding a newborn.

• Being alone with your baby can bring on some of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

• When you have a newborn, you can miss your husband even if he's sitting in the same room as you are.

• When you have a newborn, you can miss your TV even if it's sitting in the same room as you are.

• If you want to leave home with your baby, you have to carry a lot of shit with you.

• Strollers and car seats can be tricky to operate and may cause you to say things in front of your baby that he shouldn't hear.

• If your husband/partner/friend/family member offers to take care of your baby and give you a couple of hours to yourself to go to a coffee shop and write, take them up on it. Free time and sanity can be hard to come by.

Okay. That's what I've learned so far...that I can remember, anyway. More from the trenches later.

P.S. My laptop battery is low and I'm missing my adorable son. He and his father should be strolling over here any time now and I can't wait to see the little munchkin. And his handsome father. :) Sigh.